Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in the studio in London with Lloyd Langford.

"All right, Rhod and Lloyd?", says J__ in Liverpool. / Hello, J__. / That's nice, innit? ... "Great to see you back, Lloyd." ... Can he see us then? / 「また会えてうれしいです」 ... って、どこかから我々のことが見えてるのかな？ / I hope not. I've been picking my nose for fifteen minutes. / そうでないことを願う。ボクはさっきから鼻をほじっていたから。 / I / my hat if he can / right / my hat back on now. Uh ... / You look like an Amish bloke. / What's wrong with that? / Nothing. ... Listners, __ __ aware, but, um, Rhod recently bought a Stetson hat / The listeners are aware of it / 20-odd listeners to this show, most of them are repeat listeners / Lloyd / people / know about this hat / talked in detail about this hat. I'm proud of it. It's my favorite ... one of my favorite possessions. / I know. We / possession, this is / some drinks / for the entirety of the time, you refused to take the hat off. / Absolutely. I'm taking the words of that Tom Jones' song very seriously. / オレはトム・ジョーンズのあの名曲、You can leave your hat on の意味を厳粛に受け止めているんだ。 / That was a suggestion, not an order. ... __ __ __ entirely different meaning __ __ Tom Jones / You could leave your hat on. / making / It's not a suggestion. It's a go-ahead / I see it / license to wear / hat / wherever you want / you can leave your hat on / last night as well. / I know. I came in ... when I came in to your flat, you were wearing your hat. / 家のなかでもずっとかぶってるよね。 / Exactly. Exactly. I wear ... I wear it socially, I wear it privately ... / But isn't it like a coat? Like, if you go outside ... / コートみたいなもんでしょ。外に出たら ... / It's not like a coat. No. / No. I mean ... / No. See that ... see that __ back of the chair / 帽子とコートは違う。椅子の背にひっかけてあるあれを見ろ。あれがコートだ。 / I mean, if you go outside / feel the benefit because you / hat on all day / だからさ、家の中でも帽子をかぶっていたら、外に出た時にそのありがたみがわからないでしょ。 / See, I don't ... I don't subscribe to that "You / benefit of something. / Right / Let's ... let me __ a theory. / OK. / What if I said to you, "Hey, Lloyd don't wear your ... don't wear your pants and trousers in the house. / __ you're trying to make __ __ __ / you won't feel the benefit when you, uh ... when you go out. / おい、ロイド、家の中ではズボンもパンツも脱げ。そうしないと、外に出た時にそのありがたみがわからないから。 / Well, that's ... yeah. Quite often, like / if / I'm in a hotel room or somethig / I take them off / me / why don't you shave / completely bold now because otherwise you won't feel the benefit / when you go out otherwise / 今すぐ髪もヒゲも剃ったらどうだ？ そうすると、外に出た時にそのありがたみがわかる。 / not gonna grow back (that) quickly (enough) / is it? / 外に出たってすぐに生えてこないでしょ。 / wait / long enough / 辛抱強く待てば何とかなる。 / I just don't subscribe to that / feel of benefit / jacket / house / then / go / jacket / you / still feel colder / ありがたみを感じたければ外でコートを脱いでみろ。コートってありがたいなあと思うから。 / Yeah. Maybe you're right / Have you ever seen anyone ... have you ever seen anyone, in your life, be / on / and then take / do you know what / make__ no difference at all / in the house / any benefit / outside / No. But / not / just / a natural / that's like saying, "Don't take / jacket / when you go inside. ... Are you with me? / 話についてこれてる？ / you've well ... you have well and truely __ __ __ __ stalemate. This is like myth-buster / admit / against me, Lloyd / Amish Rhod / what's wrong with being an Amish / you know / nothing wrong with it. I'm just saying / look / headphones / such is your dedication to the hat / you / even / headphones off / put / your hat / on top of the headphones / I still need to be able to hear the production team. ... Actually, I don't. You're right. / I / take the headphone off, keep the hat / yeah / looking forward to the show / as always / I don't know / half an hour into the show / 「楽しみにしてます」って ... 番組開始から 30 分経過後に？ / late / waited for us to start. ... "Looking forward to the show / always enjoy / Lloyd on board / No disrespect / Rhod / what / none taken. / mention / unusual places for celebs / I bumped into David H__ on the next rowing machine / if he actually bumped into him / I reckon you were using the machine wrongly / (bump into: 1. ばったり遭遇する 2. ぶつかる) / not supposed to move / properly / imagine / dangerous / row out / hotel / into the canal / God knows where you could end up / in Ireland / rowing machine

guess / happy birthday to / Lloyd / guess who's 30 todady / can you ... can you narrow it down bit? / もう少しヒントを。 / Yes. That's the 1 pound coin / one pound coin / couldn't be bothered / make you guess / I thought you'd never get it / どうせ当たらん。 / that one / 1 pound nots / Can you remember that? / What do you mean can I remember that? / I veguely remember ... / I'm / 44-year-old man / of course / 1 pound note. / ... Did the coin / still / note / I think / very much / coin / all over its hands. / coin / had hands / would be bloody / you've made / currency sexy / made / sexy / full of intrigue / full of intrigue / it was / 1 pound coin is 30 tomorrow. / Huh. Right. / doing anything / street party? / Um ... I might / feature / I think / feature / Jot it down, Lloyd. Feature #1 / do you remember the 1 pound note / "Do you ..." Well, I'm 29, / Yeah. / almost as old as 1 pound coin. / you are not even as old as / 1 pound coin / お前は１ポンド硬貨より若かったのか。 / yeah / some / one / turns 30 tomorrow / first being introduced / easily buy a pint of bitter. / Huh. / it says / at 66 pence / compared / when did the 1 pound note disappear? / １ポンド札はいつ消えたのかな？ / I liked the 1 pound note. / Yeah. I remember, my grandfather g__ me some 1 pound notes / sounds / like a nice story / no / was / nice / would / jot / can you beat / 1 pound note story / feature #2: "Can you beat Lloyd's 1 pound note story?" / let's hear it again / from / Port Albert / Huh, you are adding a little ... a little detail now, are you? / just / painting / color / now / station / Port Albert / club / yeah / a couple of one pound notes / each / maybe to buy / icecream / I can't remember / specifics / remember where you were / exactly / outside / why your / gave you money? / No. / how / give two quids at the age of four? / Well, I can't / exact / a bit of / grand national / came out of / just / what / how many pints of bitter would that have / in those days / could / six pints of bitter / quite like that / did / no / Was he a big gambler? / irresponsible drinking / no / ok / he / my estimation / your estimation / just giving kids cash, going "Go on" / Yeah. But you made that up / make / judge people / as well / I know / nothing / alcoholic gambler / now you're wearing a cowboy hat / black and white / black and white / カウボーイ・ハットをかぶったとたん、何事にも白黒決着を付けたくなったようだな。/ now, "Can you beat Lloyd / name / do / one / first feature / suppose / home / two / any 1-pound-note-related / anyone / feature / one / do / assume / don't bother / either 1 or 2. / お題１：　君は１ポンド紙幣を覚えているか？ お題２：　君はロイドの１ポンド紙幣話を上回る話をもっているか？ ２に答えてくれれば１にも答えたことになるから、答えるのは１または２のどちらかでいい。/ clarify / stuff / maybe / still / somebody comes in from / I remember / we / a bit racist, that. / No. If / answer the call / if we / BBC, Lloyd / 国営放送 BBC がそんなことをしていいのか / dialling code / number / comes from / don't bother / not / be responded to / country / use / still in circulation / feature for you / rule yourself out / if / this / if / yeah / see / still fairly legal / we're looking for people / only / looking / nostalgic tint / nostalgic / phonecall / or don't. / それ以外は電話してこないこと。

great feature / terrible / yes's / coming in / no's / coming in / you need to stimulate / that / feature / 1-pound-note story / all angles / all angles / no / one / go / always do that anyway. Uh ... / all right / Rhod and Lloyd / Rhod, any chance / say "c__" / yeah / 100% chance / 100% / you said / best / that word I've ever heard / wasn't it / rubber shoes ... uh ... but, uh, / female version of them / are they? / yeah / Are they? / No. / right / about then? / I was just messing / Well, don't. This isn't the place for that. / for silliness. / Sorry. / Right. ... "c__" / potato cut up into, like, cubes / ok / probably talking about giving my, uh, / Nissan M__ / all right / probably / Spanish / Si / um ... now then, uh ... oh, / done that one. Uh ... "Hi Rhod / this / good / suggested / at the same time / manage / you canni handle it, captain / ... "Hi Rhod / a while ago / me and my dad / versus / remember / I know it happened. / Yeah. / "... When / managed / see the end of your show / Cardiff / after that, we had / lunch in a restaurant / when I wanted to go to the loo, the person / took ages, ... / OK. / ... but the door to the ladies' was wide open. ... So, I thought of a feature / right / pen / feature / have you ever been tempted use the ladies' loo? / that's the feature / used / before / that's, uh, end of that feature. / through / writing it out first / 書き終わってもいないのに / and cross it out. / OK. ... There we go. / that feature's done. / P.S. / waited / in the end / ちなみに、ボクは男性用が空くのを待ちました。 / I think / upright moral / so do I / it depends, really / ladies' toilet / give a bit of explanation / you can't. You can't. / where they are. Right? / called "listener navigation" / called / here / BBC / feature / then talking about it. / Well, / you've crossed out that feature / listener / what is it? What's the new feature? That's all right. / as long as / listener / ladis / Jot it down. / I'm not jotting it down. / やだよ。 / Jot it down, Lloyd / listener navigation / it's so important / when is it ... what? / ... acceptable / acceptable / if you are a man / to use the ladies' toilet / that's feature what? / place / people / need / feature / call this Feature 5 / it's like / have / 13th seat on planes / feature / if / to use / It depends. If / OK / toilet / loads of cubicles in there / like a big one / think / less acceptable / but / solitary toilet / men's toilet / you know / I know / yeah / I think / no one in the ladies' / absolutely / problem / somebody / nobody / either / if the men's / occupied / OK / if the ladies' toilet / and it's a big one / loads of cubicles in / knock on / main or outside door / usually / a couple of doors / very outside / got into / kind of a hallway / yeah, yeah, yeah, in the, uh, / the porch of anticipation / knock on the door and say / really / voice / big cowboy hat / see that through __ door / come back / this feature

During the News, we've had ... zero emails ... on Feature 5 / all / a couple of / new / take root / bed in / but / some very interesting stuff / pound note / What was Feature 2, again? / お題２は何だっけ？ / "Can you beat / yeah / that / beat / 1 / coming / so, that's, uh ... good. Um ... "I think Lloyd should be tested on / ten / note / as before / time / what kind of test are you looking for, __? / what / sort / have in mind / Jeff / I'm not quite sure / to be honest / maybe / respective / maybe / I'll test you on it / all right. ... Has / ever been / note / Question 1 / ten shilling / no / right / fail / test / before / as well / かつて 10 シリング紙幣は存在したか？ / OK. Question 2. / OK / yeah / on behalf of / proxy / note / specialist / subject / anyone else's / programme / your name / your chosen subject / chosen / from / actually, that's a good way to / spice / up / format / what about "Rhod, Lloyd and Jeff's New Mastermind"? / good / like / dealer / questions / be / behind the screen / questions / feverishly / next contestant / I think / on TV / something I'm in / change the name slightly / 企画として持ち込んでみようか / what's wrong with the name "Rhod, Lloyd and Jeff's Mastermind"? / new / people / annoyed / fine / instead of / who / for now / とりあえず ... と呼んでおこう / ... Right. Question 2 / minute / quiz / how much / worth / prime / carefully / ten / Yeah. How much is that? / oh, in today's money, you mean? / ... Yes. / I don't know where to start. Um ... / fiver / five / pounds / today's money / production team / anything to say / I don't know / screaming obscenity / I'll tell you what / this / you / format / if / pilot of our ... pilot of our new game show / some / maybe ... maybe / should / meet / before / producers / room / you__ have to / about / questions / ten / time starts now / try / learn / information / gives / couple of books or whatever / cramming information / name / new show / impress / in one hour. / no / just / ten shilling note / answer / I don't know / clue / Quiz"? / we've got another email here. / this is / interesting / no / listeners liers? / last weekend / you could have used it / told you / exist / still / one / you thought / Nation of Scotland / saying / you ... you thought / note / governor / Bank of Scotland / not any more, no / isn't / still / still / showing off / still / we still have / Scottish one pound note / brought back / when we got married / nothing / that email / Lloyd / summary / yeah / if, maybe, the parents of the bride-to-be / happy about it / whatever reason / shotgun / nip off to / something like that / lawless town / 20 years / married stress / this June / she says / from / here you go. Um ... so, keep your / pound note stories coming / yours / a trip / a marrige / tell us / what's so illicit about your marriage? / love / own name / that's what I wanna know

shame / are / started / dividends / now / about all six / nothing on / pound note / emailed in / all six / separate / between the six / lowest hit rate / mainly your features / no / you came up with the first / 1 / quite / to be had / let me / men's toilet / may / think / zero listeners agree with you / hang on a minute / here comes George / listener / what a healthy wad / three / Yes ... for this show / この番組にしてはすごい / this / uh / Andy / says / feature / British / Andy / 2 / no / he doesn't / thanks / #3 / profitable / note / "No." / 5 / Feature 5 / again / "If desparate." / ほかに手がなければ / good / remember / sometimes / 1 / No, Rhod, I / remember / from / thanks / another / Rhod, I keep a pound note and / ten / inside a book / to keep them pefectly flat / what / note / All right, __ / know / think / forward / tell you what. If D__ / ever / be able to / very low budget transaction. / ... He will / perfectly flat 1 pound note__ / OK / I'm not familiar with that one / interesting stuff / keep / doesn't need / money / as a bookmark, mate. / Well, / can / purpose / No, they can't / specifically, specifically defeat the object / how / think / through / usually / half-in, half-out / hanging / if he did that / did that / overhanged end / get / what's / fold / そこに折れる / achieve? / Perfectly flat 1 pound note / / completely / hang / open / note / take it / probably / take it / reading / in / out / crease you / end / brilliant, innit? / end the show / thanks / time / spent / how flat D__'s / note

why / Rhod Gilbert / live / BBC Radio Wales, 11 till 1.